"Eviltopia" Is a word I made up one night on World of Warcraft. I was telling someone that I needed my own island far away from everyone and nobody could see it unless I wanted them to. It was going to be a safe haven for me, my husband, and all of our pets. There would be bird feeders everywhere and butterflies for the cats to chase. And a nice big house with a porch and swing for me and my husband to relax and watch the sun set. The "Evil" part refers to how I feel some days when I am feeling bad. And by "bad" I mean depressed or anxious. It doesn't necessarily evil so much as "wicked". Or even "naughty". It's really just a nice way to call myself a raging cunt when I feel like shit. It's also part of a few of my WoW names. The "topia" part come from "utopia" and was imported from Greek by Sir Thomas More for his 1516 book Utopia, describing a fictional island in the Atlantic Ocean. So Eviltopia is something that only exists in my mind.
Today I'm not feeling too terrible. I have some things I need to do around the house. I intend to complete them and then never do. The dishes, put the clean laundry away, and dust. All things that need to be done and yet never do. I did actually get the dishes under control finally but there are still a couple in there waiting for me. I did make my husband a nice big breakfast. Not so much because I wanted to be nice to him as I was just being a fatty and was hungry. I ended up staying up all night like usual poking around and watching stuff on Netflix. I've been without World of Warcraft for about 10 days so far. I still have my Everquest 2 but I just haven't felt like playing. Netflix has 8 seasons of Andy Griffith! There is no time for games!
I am a bit nervous/anxious and excited about an upcoming trip my mom and I may be taking. We are hoping to make it to Mount Airy, NC for her birthday next month to visit the Andy Griffith Museum and stuff. It's something I have always wanted to do. But then again it's WAY out of my comfort zone. It's 4 hours one way. My mom will be there but she just isn't helpful when I start feeling bad like my husband is. My mom tends to stare at me when I get anxious and it only makes it worse. Or she starts talking loud. I guess she thinks she is distracting me but all I can think about is her causing more people to stare at me. I have literally sprinted to get away from her a couple of times when we have gone to the store. She is so bad at times that being on my own sometimes seems easier than being with HER in public. But Mount Airy, NC is a small town and it's not likely to be busy in mid August so I think I will be fine. But for right now I am exhausted from a long night of doing nothing. Off to bed I go.
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